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it's almost four.
i'm next to my bed. not on it.
my computer will probably freeze as soon as i'm done typing.
a FLCL song is playing.
i'm worried it might wake my parents.
i had a goal today; i didn't reach it.
i take that back: i had two goals today.
same outcome, though.
it occurs to me
that i can't be that girl.
i won't tell you which kind
because that would ruin the secrecy
and make you see that i'm extremely shallow.
then again,
that speaks for itself,
doesn't it?
the song changed.
i've heard it before.
three minutes after four.
not sleepy.
no one ever reads these, 'cept me.
wonder why i write them.
nah, i won't reason it out here.
sad thing is,
that doesn't make me much of a blogger,
does it?
song changed again.
heard this one, too.
my collage wall needs to be redecorated.
the hot guys on it
really aren't hot anymore.
and here, with the next song,
i shall finally admit defeat.
i can't be the girl
that's mesmerizing,
that writes epic essays,
that gets the guy,
that can stop texting,
that doesn't worry,
that isn't nocturnal,
that doesn't forget,
that isn't too conceited,
that fits in.
my name is caroline.
i hope you care.


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